Thanks for the PAIN

It was one of the coldest nights .Passingly walking to his room i could feel my hands literally freezing.I didn't even seem to mind maybe its because my heart was way colder than the minus degrees.I needed some closure and i sought to go get it

Somehow i knew i would not get it,hes never been the talking type."What do u think you are doing, u going to hurt yourself even more" i thought to myself as i walked passingly towards his place.
"I'm going to hurt even more if i don't go" i tried to convince myself

It was the most painful days of my life,nothing seemed to be going my way...i guess i needed someone,i needed a shoulder to cry on or rather a support system and because he had promised he to stick by my side i expected that from him.it seemed only reasonable that i should

He had stopped calling me..and when i attempted to make contact,to my surprise he randomly said he needed a break...a break from what? i asked him, "I'm going through my own things" he said

Who do i talk to now, suddenly my world seemed too humongous and empty..could i have pushed him away? did i do something wrong? none of the questions i had seemed to hold any answers for me, maybe i should give him the break he so seeks, but i need him now more than ever!

i had knocked for the fourth time  in vain,just as i was about to walk away he opens the door and stands gazing at me without a word. "Hi" i said taking a deep breath ,trying to hold it all together.I did pretty good trying to hide the intense anger i had towards him,well at least i thought i did.

"i didn't expect to see you" he said with a very arrogant voice..it puzzled me how he would never expect to see me after requesting a break from what i thought was true love without any valid reason,but i refrained from saying anything. I never wanted to make him angry,i was afraid he would ask me to leave

He offered me a drink and i accepted, i set for a while not saying anything,i guess i was trying to find a polite way of asking why all the sudden change.Eventually i did and he said a lot of things...none made sense,he said he was not worthy of a girl like me.I couldn't help but break down in tears,its been three years why didn't he say anything earlier in the relationship?. He said I'm too smart,beautiful and sweet and should never beg a guy to stay with me.i though he was just been sarcastic.All guys say that when they dump their girlfriends."I just don't love you anymore" He said without any remorse in his eyes


It was a Monday morning when i decided to have a morning run to clear my head.There walked a very charming,tall guy, he was very handsome, wait! i recognize that walk.It was him,he was with another girl .She was very pretty,thin and looked way younger than me.I halted to make sure my eyes where not deceiving me

it was really him walking her to her car.it hasn't even been two days since we parted ways..well officially!

lights! people in white!.noise!.'where am i?' "you are in hospital, you've been out for two hours" "you had a mini heart attack" the lady in white said gently trying to get me to rest

Then it hit me. I fainted after seeing the girl you replaced me.She was prettier than me,way thinner and younger.He left me because I'm not good enough, I CONCLUDED

They referred me to a shrink .She gave me tissues and told me to cry how ever i want.i told her everything!
she listened and deliberated, told me the very same words he had told me she said I'm too smart,beautiful and sweet and should never beg a guy to stay with me.This time i believed every word

It was  then that realized how unhealthy our relationship was.He never loved me! but why did it take me three years to realize that?

It was three months later when he asked to see me.I generously granted him the honor of my presence and time.He told me he missed me and that she was never what he thought she would be."I'm sorry i had to be with another girl for me to realize how much i loved you ,I'm sorry you had to go through all that"."just give me a chance back in your life i promise to do things differently this time"

I was speechless for a while,then i turned with a smile and said well! "i would love to but i just don't love you anymore and you were right, I'm too smart,beautiful and sweet for a guy like you,You are definitely not worthy of a girl like me"




The story has totally nothing to do with the author(nthabiseng)...just a story inspired by things women go through